Chicken Shindig
by Freddy Isnot
Summary: Once again the crew of the Bebop is on their eternal quest... for dinner!


**Cowboy Bebop:**

**Chicken Shindig**

Another episode from…

A.T. Productions

ACT I SCENE A

Int. Bebop living room.  Day

_FAYE, 23, is seated while holding her stomach.  JET, 36, is standing and putting on a trench coat._

_SPIKE, 27, is lying down on the sofa with his eyes closed.  ED, 13, is dancing with EIN, the dog, as she plays with a brightly colored wire contraption with many beads on the wires.  _

**Faye**

I'm hungry.

**Jet**

Well, you have to get something yourself.  I'm going out to the city to buy supplies with what is left of our money.

_Faye turns to Spike._

**Faye**

Spike, can you cook dinner?

**Spike**

No.

**Faye**

Why not?

**Spike**

You're a woman, can't you cook yourself?

**Faye**

I'm a woman who is too hungry to cook.

_Faye stands up._

**Faye**

Maybe I can find something that I can warm up.

**Spike**

Bring me some too.

_Ed stops dancing next to Spike and holds out the jumble of wires._

**Ed**

Ed has got a puzzle!  A puzzle!

_Spike opens one eye to see what Ed is holding._

**Spike**

Huh?  Looks like you tore out the wires from one of the Mono computers.

**Ed**

Ein made the puzzle.  See?  Get the colors to line up!

_Ed demonstrates, twisting the wires until the colored beads all line up by color.  Then she twists them again to scramble the beads.  Spike opens both eyes._

**Spike**

How did the mutt make that?

**Ed**

Ed helped!

_Spike grabs the puzzle._

**Spike**

Let me see that.

_Spike holds it up and examines the puzzle._

**Spike (cont'd)**

It doesn't look that difficult.

_Spike begins twisting it.  He succeeds in making it even more scrambled._

**Spike (cont'd)**

It must be defective.

_He tosses it back to Ed who hands it to Ein._

**Ed**

Nope!  Nope!

_Ein__ paws at the puzzle a few times and the puzzle is solved._

**Spike**

What the...

_Spike takes back the puzzle and examines it closely._

ACT I. SCENE B

Int. Bebop kitchen

_Most of the cabinets are open and things are lying on the ground.  Faye is rummaging around in one of the cabinets._

**Faye**

Why isn't there anything to eat in this dump?

_Faye stands back and holds the fruits of her efforts – a dusty box of raisins.  The box looks like it has been chewed on._

**Faye**

This isn't enough.  What am I going to eat?  I guess I'm going to have to go to the city and buy some take-out.  

_She looks around suspiciously to see if anyone is watching.  Then she blows off the dust and begins eating the raisins._

Act I. Scene C

Int. Bar room.  Day

_Jet enters the room and goes up to the bar.  He motions for the BARTENDER. _

**Jet**

I'll have a whiskey.

_The bartender nods and hands Jet a glass and begins pouring something from a bottle._

**Jet**

Know anywhere I can get some cheap food to stock my ship?

**Bartender**

You could always go to the store on...

**Jet**

No, I need to go somewhere a little... cheaper.

**Bartender**

Ah, then go to the fast food restaurant down the street.

**Jet**

(confused) A fast food restaurant?  I don't think...

**Bartender**

Oh, not the actual restaurant, but behind the restaurant.  Some guys are selling chickens for real give-away prices.  I think they mixed up an order and are now trying to get rid of the entire lot.  Real cheap.

**Jet**

Oh.

_Silence continues while Jet drinks._

Act I.  Scene D

Ext.  City open market.  Day

_Faye is casually walking through an open market.  She stops in front of a fast food restaurant, HAPPY WINGS.  With a shrug she goes in._

Act I. Scene E

Int. Happy Wings fast food restaurant. Day

_Faye is standing at the counter of the fast food restaurant pointing at various thing on the menu with one hand.  The teenager behind the counters is piling up the food on a tray.  With her other hand, Faye is grabbing some of the food and eating it._

**Faye**

(mouth full) I also want a number 2 meal with  mashed potatoes and gravy.  

_The teenager puts the last order on the tray and rings up the order.  Faye leans against the counter in the middle of eating a drumstick.  _

**Waiter**

That will be 43 woolong.

**Faye**

Yeah, yeah.

_Faye reaches into her pocket with the hand not holding on to the chicken leg and finds nothing.  She pats her other pocket and still nothing.  A worried looks forms on her face.  She stops eating._

**Faye**

Uh...

_She looks at the waiter and very carefully puts down the half eaten chicken leg with a big nervous grin on her face._

Act I. Scene F

_Faye is wearing an apron and hat with the fast food restaurant's logo emblazoned on it.  Her expression is sullen as she dips pieces of chicken into a frying vat._

Act I. Scene G

Ext. Front of Happy Wings. Day

_Jet looks up at the front of Happy Wings and grimaces.  He heads for the alley and ends up in the back of Happy Wings.  There is a large truck parked.._

**Jet**

Uh, hello?

_An automated gun turret on top of the truck swivels and aims at Jet.  Jet is startled but then a man wearing a white lab coat exits the truck from a side door._

**Jet**

(Startled) What the hell?

**Scientist**

(Suspicious) Who are you?

**Jet**

I heard you have some food on sale.  I need to get some supplies for our ship.

_The scientist's demeanor changes instantly._

**Scientist**

(Excited)  Oh, yes, yes!  Of course, we have some nice plump chickens  for a great price!  Come in!

_Scientist ushers Jet into the truck.  Inside is a small lab, a couple more scientists, and one end of the truck is occupied by a many cages filled with LIVE CHICKENS.  The other scientists look up as Jet comes in._

**Scientist 2**

(Groan) Braddock, you idiot!  You aren't suppose to bring them inside!

**Braddock**

But he wants to buy the chickens.

**Jet**

(Confused) You're selling those live chickens?

**Braddock**

Yes!  Would you like them all?  We'd be more than happy to let you have them cheap cheap cheap!

**Jet**

(Mutters) The guy sounds like a chicken. (Loudly) How many could I purchase for this amount?

_Jet holds out an electronic device displaying his bank account.__  Scientist 2 takes it and looks.  All the scientists huddle and confer for a few minutes.  Finally Braddock approaches Jet._

Well, you drive a hard bargain, but you can have them all, if you arrange for the transportation yourself and pick them up today.

**Jet**

How many?

**Braddock**

Oh, all of them.  Seven-hundred odd chickens.

_Jet blinks a few times in surprise and looks at the entire end of the truck that is filled with chickens._

Act I. Scene H

Int. Bebop Living Room. Day

_Jet enters the room carrying a large chicken.  Spike is still sitting on the couch trying to solve the puzzle.  Ed is working at her computer.  Ein is sleeping.  Spike looks up._

**Spike**

Don't tell me that is lunch.

_Ed jumps up and grabs the chicken._

**Ed**

Lunch, lunch!  Bwak, bawk!

**Jet**

It is.  There are more.  I'm going to take the Hammerhead to get them now.  These really odd scientists are selling live chickens for a really good price in the back of a fast food restaurant. We'll have to kill, clean and freeze them ourselves, but then will have plenty to eat for some time.

_Spike is growing increasingly annoyed as he attempts to solve the puzzle.  Ed is plucking the chicken. On the TV SCREEN, the opening for BIGSHOT: FOR BOUNTY HUNTERS begins._

**Male Cowboy**

Amigo!  How're all you 300,000 bounty hunters in the Sol solar system doing?

**Female Cowboy**

Once again it's time for BIGSHOT, the show that brings you information about fugitives!

**Male Cowboy**

And today we have an interesting one...

A bounty on an entire group!  They are genetic scientists that have been dabbling with some illegal mutations with animals.

_Spike looks up at the TV._

**Female Cowboy**

Oooh!  Frankenstein animals!

_On the screen various names and pictures of men appear with individual sums of money beside each._

**Female Cowboy**

Together they are worth 4 million!

**Male Cowboy**

The catch is that you have to also bring in their genetically engineered animals to collect your reward.

**Female Cowboy**

If you don't, kiss your reward good-bye.

_Spike looks down at the puzzle then back at the TV.  He quickly tries the puzzle one more time... and fails utterly._

**Spike**

Okay, that's enough of this stupid puzzle,

_Ed looks at Spike.  Ein wakes up and yawns._

**Ed**

Oh, you haven't solved the puzzle yet?  Stupid stupid!

Act I. Scene I

Int. Bebop docking bay. Day

_Spike with an annoyed expression takes the puzzle to his ship, SWORDFISH II.  Ed and Ein are following.  Ed is plucking feather from the chicken and throwing them for Ein to chase.  Spike jams the puzzle down the opening of the barrel on the laser cannon of the Swordfish II._

**Spike**

The puzzle dies.  (_To Ed) I'm going to see if I can find that bounty_

_Spike gets into Swordfish II and takes off._

Commercial Break

Act II. Scene J

_Faye has switched to the cash register.  She is occasionally sneaking out sums of cash from the register when no one is watching.  A man, 22,  walks up to the register and Faye begins to pay attention._

**Faye**

(Monotone) Welcome to Happy Wings, may I take your order?

_The man pulls a GUN and aims it at Faye._

**Robber**

Nobody move!  You, give me all the money!

**Faye**

(Tired) Why me?

**Robber**

Shut up and give me the money!

**Faye**

Whatever.

_She open the cash register and tosses the cash drawer to the Robber.  It is empty._

**Robber**

What the hell?  Where's the cash?

_Faye tries to look innocent._

**Robber**

Okay then...

_Robber points gun at the people in the restaurant._

**Robber**

Everyone!  Empty your pockets!

_Faye protectively covers her pockets with her hands.  The Robber notices.  _

**Robber**

You empty your pockets first.

_Faye slowly moves her hands for her back pocket.  Her hand darts for a hidden holster and she is suddenly aiming a gun at the robber._

**Faye**

The hell I will!

_Faye opens fire._

Act II. Scene K.

_Jet is just about to hand over the cash for the chickens loaded up in the Hammerhead.  Sudden a couple of POLICE CARS come to a screeching halt in front of Jet and the scientists.  Police officers jump out and train guns and spotlights on them._

**Police Officer**

Freeze!

_Jet and Scientists looks up._

**Jet**

What the hell is this?

_Jet EDGES toward the Hammerhead_

**Police Officer**

I said freeze!

_Robber CRASHES through the back door of the restaurant.  He freezes when he sees the police.  All the police shift their aim towards the robber.  _

**Robber**

Oh shit!

_Faye CRASHES through the door and doesn't notice the police._

**Faye**

I've got you now, you bastard!  Trying to empty a lady's pockets!

_Faye OPENS FIRE on the gunman and misses, hitting the chicken cages.  They open and the chickens fly free filling the area with a cloud of feathers.  Jet grabs Faye and begins running.  The police open fire._

**Jet**

What the hell is going on?

Act II. Scene L

Ext. Sky above city. Day

_The Swordfish II flying very low buzzes the restaurant.___

**Spike**

That's one of them!  

_Below the scientists have entered the truck and begun driving away._

_Spike tries firing his machine guns but the bullets bounce off the armored surface of the truck.  The gun turret on top of the truck aims and fires at the Swordfish II._

**Spike**

Damn it!

_The Swordfish II, begins evasive maneuvers._

Act II. Scene M

Ext. Above city. Day

_Hammerhead flies evasively trying to dodge police aircrafts.  _

_Hammerhead and Swordfish II almost collide in midair as they try to evade other things. Spike is still trying to shoot the truck with the machine guns. Finally he stops, seeing it is ineffective.  He arms the laser cannon and fires._

_It charges up and fires a massive beam at the truck, effectively destroying the back of the truck and creating a huge crater in the ground.  However, the wire puzzle somehow manages to cause some feedback that overloads the gun, in turn overloading the MONO computer.  Swordfish II goes out of control and bumps Hammerhead.  Both of them crash land._

Act II. Scene N

_Ext. Crash site.__ Day_

_Spike, Jet, and Faye are struggling out of their ships as the police pull up.  Spotlights and guns are trained on them.  Scientists come out of the truck with their hands up._

**Braddock**

Ok, don't shoot. We give up. 

_Police cars  pull up.  Spot lights and guns are trained on them.  Spike waves to the police casually._

**Spike  _(__To the police)._**

_ Well, I am glad you finally showed up now that we captured these dangerous criminals. We are bounty hunters and claim the four million woolong prize on these characters__. You could give us a hand with catching some of these chickens._

_.A police officer comes up to Spike and snaps a handcuff on the hand Spike is waving.  Spike sighs._

Act II. Scene O

Int. Bebop living room. Day

_Ed is surround by a very large  pile of feathers.  She is scratching her head confused while Ein whines in a questioning manner.  Before them is the "large" chicken.  Without its feathers is a very small and scrawny chicken.  It is look back with a confused look as well._

**Ed**

It is a feather, feather chicken.  

_Ed grins and licks her lips while picking up a fork and knife._

**Ed**

Lunch!  Come here lunch, lunch!

_She and a barking Ein begins chasing the now fleeing chicken._

Act II. Scene P

Int. Jail cell. Sunset

_Jet, Spike, and Faye are all sitting together on the jail cot.  None of them are moving nor making any sounds.  They are just looking at the cell door with identical despondent looks on their faces._

_Fade out._

_Black title screen_

**Caption (bottom right)**

See You Space Cowboy

_Ending credits._

*Disclaimer* Cowboy Bebop and its character do not belong to me nor am I attempting to make money off of them. I'm just trying to have some fun.


End file.
